Every day we see families reap the benefits of prevention as they respond to the services we offer, and are better able to enjoy more satisfying interactions with one another. Every day we see parents become more effective, and children grow more secure as the result of our family support services. These are some of their stories.

> Success Story #1 Dwayne: A Toddler Visits the Children's Playroom

> Success Story #2 Baby M: A Child Recovering From Orphan Syndrome

> Success Story #3 Maria: A Single Mother on the Road to Self-Sufficiency

Success Story #1: Dwayne’s Story
Dwayne began coming to the Children’s Playroom when he was two years old. Dwayne came with his three-year-old brother, his baby brother, and, at times, with his four-year-old step-brother. Dwayne’s mother and step-father had an extremely volatile relationship. They frequently had loud arguments, and would often break up, only to be back together the next day. Both Dwayne’s mother and step-father had substance abuse histories. The family was living in an emergency family homeless shelter.

Dwayne’s mother could be appropriate with the children, but at times she would become extremely frustrated with them and yell at them. She seemed to have a lot of difficulty managing the children’s behavior, and she frequently seemed overwhelmed by the other issues she was facing in her life. Dwayne’s mother sometimes became angry when Playroom staff tried to intervene or support her when she was having a difficult time with the boys.

Dwayne and his siblings began coming to the Playroom daily. Dwayne demonstrated very challenging behaviors. He was clearly unused to being in a group setting with other children. He had tremendous difficulty sharing and waiting for a turn. When he did not get what he wanted, he would immediately start moaning and "pseudo-crying." He had trouble listening to what adults were saying to him in these moments, and he seemed to have no expectation that adults would help him. Often, Dwayne fully disintegrated when he would not get what he wanted. He would try to grab toys from other children or hit other children, and he would have to be physically removed to another part of the room.

Playroom staff recognized the need to support Dwayne in his social interactions with other children. We worked to help him tolerate turn-taking and sharing, and to increase his awareness of other children’s feelings. We hoped to help Dwayne enjoy playing with other children in the Playroom. We tried to have two staff available to be with Dwayne during Dwayne’s difficult moments. In that way, we could acknowledge the feelings that both Dwayne and the other child were having, and each child could feel seen and supported. We responded consistently to Dwayne when he became out of control. We helped Dwayne soothe himself by holding him, reading to him, or giving him space by himself. We also gave Dwayne a lot of positive reinforcement during the moments that he was able to share, tolerate waiting, or demonstrate an awareness of another child’s feelings. Dwayne began to develop special relationships with individual Playroom staff, and to seek out other children to play with.

Playroom staff worked to build a collaborative relationship with Dwayne’s mother. We made sure that we shared information with her about positive experiences that Dwayne had in the Playroom, and reinforced the ways that we saw her helping Dwayne when he was frustrated. We also helped Dwayne’s mother to see us as allies by empathizing with her when we could see she was struggling with Dwayne’s behavior, letting her know that we could respond to her need for support as well as responding to Dwayne’s needs.

Over the course of the months he was with us, we saw Dwayne make tremendous progress. He began to tolerate his frustration and to take turns with other children. Dwayne’s expectations of the adults in the Playroom changed as well. He began to view adults as people who could assist him in difficult moments. He also responded well to positive reinforcement.

Dwayne and his family have now moved into a more stable transitional housing program. We hope that Dwayne’s ability to regulate his emotions and play with other children appropriately in the Playroom will translate to other settings and facilitate his future social interactions.

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Success Story #2: Baby M’s Story
Baby M is now seven and a half months old. She first came to Respite about four weeks ago. She is very tiny. She weighed approximately nine pounds when she came, and today weighs almost 11 pounds. Baby M’s mother, a single woman, adopted her in Guatemala six weeks ago. Baby M lived in an orphanage since birth. Her new mother, who is employed and a student, was unfamiliar with Orphan Syndrome. She did not know that the baby’s extreme quietness was a warning sign. "She is a very good baby," the mother told me when she first brought Baby M to Respite, "you never hear her cry." Because I have worked with orphans in Asia and Africa, I recognized Baby M’s symptoms. Orphans often cry silently, since their cries are not responded to -- the babies learn to not waste energy crying. When Baby M cries, her eyes stream tears and her arms flail, but she does not make a sound.

I have worked with Baby M’s mother and Respite staff, helping them to recognize Orphan Syndrome, and counter the signs. Baby M cannot sit unsupported, and we are working with her to help her gain strength to sit up on her own. Because of her condition, she requires much interaction. We hold Baby M close to us, we touch her often and rub her hands and feet. We put our faces close to her and coo and smile. We respond to her slightest gesture immediately. We dance with her to music and to laughter, we feed her often and put different things in her hands for her to hold and pull and tug. Her somber eyes watch. There are no tears. The day she smiled at me the first time, I wanted to cry. That day, she also smiled at her mother and greeted her with a tiny cooing sound. I know that with consistent work and positive interaction, Baby M will grow to be a happy, healthy little girl. Though we have much work to do, she is off to a good start.

Written by Maria Eitz, Respite Care Program Director

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Success Story #3: Maria’s Story
Maria found herself trying to raise a family alone five years ago when her marriage fell apart. She had no income of her own, no education and had never had a job outside the home. She and her two children had just moved in with Maria’s mother when she walked into the Center looking for a better way. She had no idea where to start: What kind of work did she want? Would anyone even want to hire her?

Maria started attending the weekly Job Club and met individually with Economic Self-Sufficiency Program Director, Susan Reider, for support and advocacy. Her job search had to be put on hold because both children have special needs and had to move to schools with on-site programs so Maria would have more time to attend a training program.

Maria struggles with diabetes and high blood pressure. In the course of two years, she lost three family members. But, Maria was determined and she was finally able to complete a computer and office skills training program at The Goodwill Industries. A year later, she got her first job as an Internet shopper at Safeway.
The job pays just $8.37 an hour and Maria is only able to work part-time, but she is building a resume and learning new skills.

She continues to meet weekly with Susan, working on budgeting and money management, and personal issues. For the first time in a long time, Maria is excited about the New Year. She is looking for a better paying job, planning to finish her education and find her own housing. She has come a long way since she walked into the Center five years ago.

"We often think that what we do here is teach life self-sufficiency," says Reider. "Our program measures success by how parents cope with situations and the way they attempt to change things. In life there will always be problems to face, but our hope is that parents will learn to look for ways to address those problems rather than let them turn into crises."

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